Adult Decisions

Now that Derek and I are both out of school, working, and have become self sustaining individuals, it feels like we’ve “made it” so to speak. This is what I was waiting to happen for what seems like forever! All of our hard work and dedication is paying off. I love my little NICU baby besties! They can be a bit extra sometimes, but for the most part I freaking love caring for them and snuggling with them. And every time they smile at me I die a little bit inside.

But I’m not sure I’m exactly where I want to be.

I inquired a few months ago about a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist (CRNA) program here in Salt Lake at Westminister. They took quite a while to get back to me however, since they replied a month ago they’ve sent two additional follow up emails and it made me re-evaluate why I inquired in the first place. Was it just my ambitious post nursing school self that was looking for the next thing I wanted to conquer, or was it an actual desire to do more school for a profession that was really interesting to me. Turns out its the latter. I know what you’re thinking. How can you say that after 6 months of experience as a nurse? To be fair, on the same day I got into my BSN program I told Derek I thought I wanted to go to grad school. He laughed and told me “Let’s get through this program first.” I think the desire has always been there.

I had a classmate in nursing school tell me that they wanted to be a CRNA because it was one of the only nursing areas with the smallest amount of patient interaction. And the pay isn’t too shabby. I was appalled by such a response, because patient interaction is everything to me! Who goes into nursing not wanting that? But after further contemplation and some brief shadowing in the OR with a few CRNA’s (one even let me intubate a patient!!!), I actually think it would be amazing to be in that career path. It’s crazy to think that if it all works out I could move to one of the opt-out states where I could technically practice autonomously, without being under the supervision of a physician.

I think I’m going to apply. I have a lot of steps to take before getting all of my application material in. And due to my lack of Adult ICU experience, I may not be the strongest candidate, but I think it’s worth a try. And hopefully I can gain more experience with higher acuity patients and become a stronger applicant to not only Westminister’s program but other programs as well.

This picture was taken where Derek and I got engaged 3.5 years ago. It’s fun to think about the kind of people we were and the aspirations we had at that time. I didn’t imagine I would be at this place in my life. As a member of the LDS church, the importance of bearing and raising children was really stressed on me throughout my life and has been a continuous religious and social pressure. I feel the need to mention that I love kids and absolutely want them as a part of my life but the timing isn’t right currently. It’s kind of funny that I even feel the need to explain myself, because ultimately this decision is between Derek, myself and God. I just know I might get some criticism for placing my priorities differently than those around me. I’m grateful for a husband that has encouraged me to pursue my dreams time and time again, even at the cost of spending a normal amount of time together. It wouldn’t happen without sacrifice.

Here’s to CRNA school in the next few years.

In the mean time send tips for taking the GRE.

I'm a 23 year old NICU RN, living my best life with my best friend Derek. We've been married since May 29th, 2015.

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