I love makeup. I love wearing makeup. I love buying new makeup. I love wandering the aisles at Sephora and MAC, trying out new lipsticks or finding a new mascara. I love watching tutorials on new techniques to apply makeup. I follow quite a few makeup artists on Instagram. You get the picture. But I have come to the conclusion that I need to cut makeup from my life. Wait, what? That doesn’t make any sense! You just said you love makeup! Well let me explain.
I would like to preface this with the thought that this change is just for me personally. I don’t think anyone is a bad or shallow person because they love to wear makeup. And if that makes you really happy, please don’t stop. These are just the musings of my crazy mind.
A few weeks ago, I was getting ready for work, and I discovered that the false lashes I really liked to use on my eyes had been sitting too close to my curling iron and melted. My first thought was, “now my face won’t even look good.” WHOA. HOLD UP, SELF. What kind of ridiculous crap is that? I literally froze. Why would I ever think that about myself? Why would some extra lashes change my entire face?
But then, a few days later it happened again, I ran out of bronzer and thought, “everyone is going to know how pale I am.”
Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I tearing down my own image? So what if I don’t have spider leg eyelashes or super tan skin? Why do my cheekbones need to look “highlighted?” Why do I need all of these things to feel beautiful?
“If I don’t cover this zit, everyone will know I get zits sometimes!”
“If I don’t wear concealer, people will know I stayed up too late last night reading books and watching Netflix.”
“If I don’t fill in my brows, everyone will know that I have blonde eyebrows!”
Is this post sounding as ridiculous to you as it does to me? I do realize that this point seems pretty shallow. However, makeup is clearly taking over my life and I need to stop. I looked into my makeup bag and started to mentally do that math of everything I used on a daily basis.
Face lotion- $12.00, Primer- $19.00, Concealer- $29.00, BB cream- $39.00, Bronzer- $27.00, Blush- $23.00, Highlighter- $26.00, Brow gel- $24.00, Eyeshadow primer- $29.00, Eyeshadow palette- $54.00, Eyeliner- $29.00, Mascara- $23.00, Setting Spray- $32.00 = $366.00
THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY SIX DOLLARS?! I could have paid for my ticket to Disney World with that money!
I know what you are thinking, “Then don’t buy such expensive makeup!” I loved buying makeup, remember?
I was sickened by all that money spent. I thought to myself, I need to stop. I went into the kitchen and asked Taylor what he thought about me wearing less makeup. His response, “You’re always beautiful to me!” While totally sweet, not the answer I was looking for. The more I’ve thought about this the last few weeks, the more I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to do without.
So I have decided to challenge myself. I have decided to not wear makeup for the month of October. They say it takes 20ish days to create a habit and I want to get into the habit of seeing myself as beautiful without wearing any makeup.
To help myself with this process I’ve taken back my most recent purchases to Ulta and Sephora and i’m stowing away my makeup bag come October First. I unfollowed all the makeup artists from my Instagram and unsubscribed from all beauty retailer emails. If I get a zit? I’m human, it happens. Maybe the bags under my eyes showing will encourage me to go to bed a little earlier and get more sleep (But also, more sleep cause I won’t need to wake up so early to “put my face on.”) If people know that my eyebrows are blonde? Well it probably won’t come as much of a shock, considering the rest of my body hair is also blonde.
I want to get back to the girl in this photo.
I want to accept myself for the way that I am, simple as that. And I really hope that I can hold to this challenge! Wish me luck!