Crying. It’s the worst and the best. While it’s super cathartic it also gets me so wound up, to the point where I am literally laughing and crying at the same time. By now Derek has gotten used to it but when we first started dating and he came to realize this weird thing that I do was part of the deal he had no idea what he had gotten himself into. Do I hug her or do I laugh? Is she psychotic?
I start crying so hard sometimes it almost seems involuntary and I need to have stern talk with myself in the mirror as Chris Traeger would.
I’ve been so overwhelmed with the nursing program that I want to explode. I’m honestly just so burned out from three hardcore semesters back to back to back.
Nursing Program: “Great Job! But you’re actually not done. The next marathon starts in 15 minutes and you have to run it or else the first one doesn’t count.”
Finishes second marathon
Nursing Program: “Great Job! But you’re still not done. Just two more marathons today and we’ll give you credit for all of your work.”
Technically I’ve always known it would be four semesters but you don’t know how difficult it is until you’re in the thick of it.
Today I couldn’t stop crying because I’m just exhausted and tired of assignments and testing and projects but caught myself thinking “SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP” and was able to stop my leaking eyeballs.
I have come so far. At the beginning of my first semester I used my stethoscope to listen to the backside of a fake patient’s leg… hahaha there’s nothing to hear there just by the way. I hated going in patient’s rooms in the morning because I was so scared of being an inconvenience. I used to be so intimidated by working nurses, but as time goes on I can see myself more and more as one of their colleagues. I am so incredibly grateful for the knowledge I’ve gained throughout this program. I will be forever indebted to my professors and those who have supported me and encouraged me along the way.
I just passed my retake Maternal Health/Pediatrics HESI examination, which means I get to move on in the program and become a fourth semester nursing student this fall. It also means I get to leave the frozen tundra otherwise known as Rexburg to go back to Washington (YEAHHHH BOI), I only have a maximum of 4 days left in this semester, I get a FULL SEVEN WEEK BREAK before starting my next semester (during which my amazing in-laws are taking Derek and I to Cancun), and I’m just one short semester away from graduating with a bachelor’s degree in the science of nursing.
As my mom would say, “I can do anything for just a few more months.”
This is my dream. This is my passion. The heartaches and hardships along the way will make the accomplishment of my goal that much more enjoyable.
Somedays you need a good cry.
Other days you need to get back up on your feet and fight for your dreams.